Short Story

Blind Date 

The grinning young man sprinted energetically away from the bustling crowd of tourists and ducked into a store, crowded, blaring pulsating music through the mall from hidden speakers. His grin split into a broad smile as the large man in the center of the crowd erupted into a frenzy of curses and intermingling threats. He held his prize up triumphantly; a fat suede wallet, bulging with wads of bills. He slid it effortlessly into his pocket, glancing around furtively for a new victim.

There– several yards away, a girl, a few years younger than he, loitering near the soft pretzel place. She wore expensive looking boots, Abercrombie jeans, and from her wrist dangled a brand-name purse. She had straight blonde hair, and glanced frequently over her shoulder. He stepped out of the booming, dark store and strode confidently towards the girl, cursing the fact that she was not in line.

“Excuse me, are you in line?” Smiling suavely at her, he slowly, imperceptibly, slid his hand down into the bulging bag.

She turned to answer, and he saw that she was twirling a yellow rose between her manicured fingers. Her eyes brightened as they lit on him, her free hand flew to her smiling lips, and it was only thanks to experience that he withdrew his fingers just in time.      

“No!” she answered joyously, throwing her arms around the boy’s neck in a most unexpected gesture of affection. Giggling like a hyena, she released him and slung The Purse carelessly onto the other arm. Though still recovering from his shock, the boy’s eyes hungrily followed its progress as it went zinging expensively through the air.

The girl stood tensed, staring up at him expectantly with adoring eyes that sparkled as they wandered slowly up and down his profile. He stood dazed, understanding only that he must somehow take advantage of this misunderstanding, but was equally loathe to humor the girl.

“Ahh...” he said with an affectation at understanding, as his hand went nervously to his hair. She giggled again, and he forced a laugh. “So...” he said, hoping she would complete the thought.

“So...” she repeated breathlessly, looking excited.

“Uhhnnmmm...Nice flower,” he finished lamely, wondering if this was some new high school fad: parading around the mall carrying roses.

“Oh, yeah-it’s from my mom’s garden,” she said, and he was mortified to find that she had a high-pitched valley girl way of speaking, as well as a distracting habit of tossing her hair about during every significant word. “She’s obsessed with winning this dumb lawn competition, but if she notices that I took one I’ll just blame it on my little brother; this was really more important than her stupid contest,” she said obnoxiously, blowing a large pink bubble to signify the end of her story.

“...Oh...and...what did you need it for, again?”

“So you’d know me, silly!” She squealed, cackling that hyena laugh as she pushed him back playfully. The boy laughed too, hoping the encounter would be over soon, but the girl attached herself to his arm, digging her hot-pink fingernails into the flesh beneath his sleeve.

“So, what’s your real name?” She asked, with a sudden urgency in her voice, a hunger glinting in her eyes. The boy had the sudden vision of himself as an insect, caught in the web of a sparkly pink spider.

“Eric,” he stammered, startled into telling the truth.

“That’s a cute name...” she led him forcefully away by the arm, over to the movie theater, where she rudely rapped on the window until the kid in the ticket booth asked,

“Can I help you?”

“Yes. Two for Legally Blonde.” She ordered bossily, then stepped back and winked possessively at Eric, who grinned uneasily at her. Smiling, she whipped her head around, causing her hair to smack his chin. Darting a hopeless glance at The Purse, he looked up at the boy behind the glass and grimaced. The boy snorted with laughter but quickly wiped the expression off his face as the commanding female turned to glare at him.

“Here are your tickets, ma’am,” he mumbled, avoiding her eyes. They both looked to Eric.

“Well?” She demanded. When he looked blank, she sighed, exasperated, and before he could prevent it, she had plunged her hand into the pocket of his coat and withdrawn the bulging suede wallet.

Eric watched helplessly as she pulled several bills out and pushed them through the hole in the window. They stopped for “snacks”, and the same injustice was repeated, as he watched, horrified.

She must eat like a shark, Eric thought as she loaded his arms with food and drinks.

The pair finally settled in the theater, but the moment the movie started, the girl left for the restroom, where she pulled a cell phone from her purse and dialed rapidly.

“Hey, Jenna? It’s Kelly. No, he never showed. I told you blind dates never work out. No, it’s okay, this other guy came over to me and tried to pick my pocket! Yeah! No, he didn’t, I picked his! Yeah-I’m leaving; can I come over? Great, I’ll tell you when I get there; okay, bye.”

Laughing, she pulled the keys from her purse and headed for the exit.